Saturday, August 27, 2011

conspiracy of KUCHING blackouts

disclaimer: I'm entitled to my own goddamn thoughts, but that's what this post is: THOUGHTS ONLY. no factual evidence supports anything you're about to read. :) btw, I have no prejudices towards religion or race, it's just the way I talk/write. you're welcomed to hate me for it tho. 

If you live in Kuching, I'm sure you've noticed the recent power shortages. I have a few theories and if you've got an open mind, come and sit with me. However, if you've got a mind as closed as a nun's thighs, please scott off. 

Theory #1: The Aliens have invaded, and we're all gonna die
Just as the title suggests, I believe that the aliens have landed (maybe in Malaysia, near Malaysia, or anyfreakingwhere on this godforsaken planet) and is sucking power from - unfortunately for us and them - Malaysia. Why of all places, Malaysia? I believe it's because they are not SO advanced as to take on USA first. Maybe they are on a scouting trip and have decided to target us because 1. we're not as advanced as the most advanced country, 2. we're not as underdeveloped as the most underdeveloped country, 3. we will go on with our merry little lives because in everyone of us lives a corrupt soul that couldn't care less whether the world's gonna end. It's all very convenient for them because what better cover than a place that's too stupid to figure out they are here, can maintain them and best of all, doesn't give a fuck? 

Unfortunately for them, they picked a country that barely has enough electricity to go around so hey aliens, go pick on another country that can accommodate your electricity needs. But it's smart to pick a dimwitted country as well, because they'll probably never figure out where all the electricity went. Too bad it may slow you down on a couple of weeks for your full-on invasion. 

Depending on the superiority of the race, they will either wipe us out, selectively or not or work side by side with us like the aliens from MIB. I hope they'll wipe us out selectively so that they either kill out all the smartest and keep the dumbest or the other way around. Which means that either way, average people like you and me will still get to survive. Hopefully they are good aliens that want what's best for us and kill all the stupid fucks off the face of this planet. Their being here is enough to justify that religion is just a bunch of crap anyway, so the religiously inclined are not much of a threat to our intelligence as a whole. Good aliens, I sincerely welcome you to our beautiful, albeit dangerous, planet. Have fun! If they are bad aliens tho, I recommend you pray to whichever God you believe in and hope that the end comes quick and painless. For all the rest of you badasses like myself, well, you'll know what to do cos I sure as hell do. 

Theory #2: Our government (or private company) is conspiring against us
Why did I put the "or private company"? Simple, it's because I don't trust our government to be smart enough to dictate a conspiracy. But if it's really the government, then bravo! You've put on such a convincing façade for so many years that even I - a mere 21 year old who is still debating what to major in, journalism or media?!!?!?! - was willing to write you off. But because I know it's as dangerous to underestimate as it is to overestimate, I'll just leave you tacked on there. You know, just in case. 

So, they KNOW that the world is coming to an end. I'm sure that USA would be kind enough to inform all governments on what is happening, since you know governments are supposed to govern and take care of us little folk right? But regardless of how they know, they are building something that requires a huge amount of electricity and like the dumbfucks that they are, they take our electricity during the time when we go clubbing and shits. Now we have nothing to do, and bored people like me will write up on stupid articles like this to entertain myself. And maybe, you. Whoever you are. Back to the topic at hand, if I were them, I'd take the electricity for about 10 mins at a time and probably throughout the day or in the wee hours of dawn so that PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE. But then again, there are lots of crazy fucks out there that notice crazy things so MAYBE the best cover is not to cover at all! Smart. 

They are probably building something that can sustain life, be it animal, plant or whatever else there is that is crucial to recreating our ecosystem. Maybe you'll be invited on, maybe it'll be released to the public when the time comes or maybe you'll just die, unknowingly - literally. 

Or hey, someone in the backroom of the control room may actually have accidentally short-circuited the whole of Kuching while trying to pop some popcorn. Who knows, like I said, it's bad if you underestimate, worse if you overestimate. Actually, I'm not sure which is worse, but I'm sure you can switch it up with the situation requires it. 

Last but not least, Theory #3: The aliens and governments/private companies are plotting against us!
Why you say? Why the hell not? 

I'm pretty sure you can draw your own conclusions from reading the above. 

Good luck thinking, pondering and wondering! ;)

P/S: I'm pissed I can't play Sims Social.