Monday, September 12, 2011

what is a good friend?

If she tells you everything, does that make her a good friend? If she doesn't tell you anything, does that make her a bad friend? What are the rules of how to be a good friend? There isn't, is there? There's no guide we can follow, all we can do is judge for ourselves.

I used to be that person who unfriended anyone who was considered a loser, a bitch, a slut or in layman terms: an outcast. Cos who wants to be caught dead wearing fur unless its faux right? And then I realized that made me more fake that the fake fur which should be considered acceptable. 

Let me explain. 

Fake fur is acceptable because we humans tend to have a soft spot for killing cute animals - but apparently chickens, goats, cows, pigs and the like are not cute enough - so it makes real fur frowned upon and avoided.  So wearing fake fur is like making friends with people who are accepted, real fur is the people that are avoided. But choosing friends based not on how much you like them, but on how much others liked them is just stupid. 

Why would one wear fake fur/make friends with people who are acceptable?
Because 1. they honestly do boycott the killing of cute animals, like me. Or 2. they are weak individuals that are afraid of how others may perceive them if they wear real fur which is what they actually really want to do. Simply, they want to be accepted as well. Hanging out with the wrong gang will just flush you out of the social rings. Which was also me. But I'm not afraid anymore. I no longer seek approval or acceptance from anyone other than myself. 

I believe that to be a good friend, honesty is a very important and powerful thing. People lie so much nowadays that sometimes they themselves lose touch with what is real and what is not. I try to find honesty in my friends, but then it's not easy because nobody is perfect and lying comes too damn naturally to us. Why? Because we are too lazy to explain. Because we don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Because we are keeping a secret. Because we can. Which brings me back to my previous point. Choosing to befriend someone who is accepted but who isn't the type you would naturally go for is dishonest - you're being dishonest with yourself. How do you be honest with others if you can't be honest with yourself? 

I'm totally digressing, my thoughts aren't even in order. I started this blogpost because of an idea and ended it with a different idea. LOL. But both are important so let me try to cover the first point of this post. 

What is a good friend? 

I don't know. 

1 comment:

  1. I think good friend has no definition. A very subjective definition I would add.