Monday, April 2, 2012

cooking is not rocket science.

I tried making egg mayo sandwich 3 days ago. I boiled two eggs and look what happened to one of them!


AHAHAHAH! What is this! HAHAHA. The egg exploded and the yolk now looks like worms. WTF did I do wrong? Or do eggs spontaneously explode?

You know what, I know that I may come off as a dumb bimbo that doesn't really know how to cook - but I hate girls who whine about it cos c'mon, HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK? Not knowing how to cook is not adorable, it doesn't show people what a lil princess you are - it just proves that you're incapable of cooking and not knowing how to cook is a result of laziness! Like, "OH EM GEE, look at me! I can only cook maggi mee~ I'm such a spoilt little girl cos I've had maids all my life and no one ever lets me cook cos it's dangerous and cos I'm rich and pretty I can afford to not know how to cook!"

Bitch, please. I tried baking pies when I was 15 cos knowing how to bake wins more points than not knowing how to boil water ok. Although I mistook 0.5 tsp for 5 tablespoons of salt - it made me realize who my true friends really are cos they swallowed the pie whole! Prior to that I always made cookies to bring to school cos it gave me great satisfaction to see people fighting over them. Happy, kay?

Ok but tbh, baking and cooking is different. I learnt to bake but not to cook because I assumed that cooking comes naturally and because I really didn't have to (Kuching, where the food is both good and cheap). It's all just common sense, unlike baking, right? I knew the recipe and methods for spaghetti and fried rice - what more do I need to know?

Apparently, a lot.

It gives me great satisfaction to make dishes I've never learnt how to. That includes sweet corn and egg, steamed eggs and mince pork, shepherds pie, french toast, grilled cheese sandwich (when I googled 'how to make grilled cheese sandwich' I almost facewalled myself) etc. They sound simple enough but god I'm proud.

I know you're probably like, GOD, you're no better than those girls.

The difference between me and THEM is that I want to learn - there's google, youtube and whatsapp (thanks to those who answer my questions so patiently and give me tips!) - and I'm not proud nor do I boast about my inability to cook. I usually blame my dad in a joking manner for spoiling me when people get exasperated at my lack of knowledge but seriously? Your ignorance is not anyone else's problem: It's yours. 

So go on you silly little girls, go on and play pretend cos when the end of the world comes, we'll see who can survive.

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