Monday, February 10, 2014

Wakakakaka Cafe (Brighton Square, Kuching)

Wakakakaka Cafe is a restaurant that serves Western food, situated in an area known by Kuchingites as Titanium or Brighton Square (I don't get it either). The place came highly recommended to me by a friend who knows about my love for beef steak. Apparently their ribeye is the bomb.

I went on a dinner date with my dad and I was thoroughly amused by the things he said! Their menu is rather funky with unconventional names - Dory & Chippy (if not mistaken) instead of Fish & Chips - resulting in a very unhappy father, squinting at the menu and asking me "where is the menu?" and declaring that there is no food listed in the menu. 

When it came to ordering drinks, my dad wanted "kopi-o-kosong" which is black coffee. Our waitress informed us that they use 3-in-1 instant coffee, but on the menu, there's "Nestle 3-in-1" and "Kopi-O" so my dad told her he wanted kopi-o (black coffee with sugar) but without the sugar (we Malaysians are rather backward and redundant) and the girl gave the same reply. It went back and forth a few times before I decided to help my poor dad and the poor girl by asking her: In 3-in-1, you have coffee, milk and sugar. Kopi-o is coffee and sugar so what my dad wants to know is, what is the 3rd ingredient? The girl then realized her mistake and apologized, answering that they use 2-in-1 for their kopi-o. 

As our waitress turned away, my father's precise response was: 3-in-1? GOD. 

It's hard not to love the man. 

Thanks to this epidemic of 3-in-1s plaguing our city, I had to sit there and listen to him ramble about coffee until and after our food arrived. First, he made it clear to me that he expects establishments which serve Western food to serve Western drinks, especially proper coffee and tea. Secondly, he told me that during his university days in England, they had already started the practice of placing milk and sugar on each table, allowing customers to add condiments to their drinks as they please. I had to agree that it is a more efficient system, rather than telling waiters "kurang manis" (less sugar) because that isn't definitive, so the drink may still arrive too sweet or too bland. 

I'm just glad I don't drink coffee and that I order my drinks without sugar. 

We had mushroom soup for our entrée and I thought that it was pretty good. I'm a sucker for mushroom soup. As long as it's not diluted and tasteless, it's good enough for me. If it has bits & chunks of mushroom? It's already won me over. 


Papa had fish & chips because he hates beef and lamb, isn't adventurous enough to try the Ice Cream Chicken Chop (honestly, neither am I), and doesn't believe in eating salad as a main course. 

Approx. RM16
I thought their fish & chips were decent, but you can almost never go wrong with deep fried anything. And it didn't have the overpowering fishy smell (which I associate with stale fish but could be wrong about), even without lemon juice! Their tartar sauce was also up to standard. So all in all, nothing spectacular but nothing disappointing. 

Now for the moment of truth... Does their ribeye steak live up to its reputation?!

Approx. RM34
Ok shitty photo. But I had to be quick because I was eating with my dad who wasn't going to wait for me to find the perfect angle. So the side of potatoes were disgusting. I like my steak with a serve of mash, thank you very much. Or fries, if need be. But nothing else. And especially not oil slicked slices of tasteless potato. 

And the mushroom sauce tasted more like mushroom cream. However, the black pepper sauce had a nice kick to it. A shame that I dislike black pepper sauce. 

Before we go any further, let me show you something.


For me, perfection lies somewhere in the middle of medium to medium well because I do not appreciate my steaks bleeding. To err on the side of caution, I asked for my steak to be medium well but was presented with this instead. 


It was rare on one end and well done on the other. While it may look juicy and tasty, it isn't. To top it all off, the chef either forgot to marinate the steak or expected the sauces to account for taste. It might have worked in his favor if the sauces were the least bit salty, but they were not. So I ended up tossing pieces of the steak to a stray cat. 

While the attitude of the staff is commendable for being friendly and patient, I will not be returning for its steak. Perhaps for the mushroom soup or fish but never for their steak. Never. 

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