Friday, June 19, 2015

over you.

I used to believe that heartbreak got easier with age
And despite the pain of it we'll learn to manage
It's always the first throw that hurts the most
Until you discover that it gets harder each time
To take a punch and climb back on your feet
Instead of defeated and down on your knees

I can write about it now because I am free of it. I have finally pried open my frozen fingers and let go of a ghost I've held on for so long. The heart is resilient and it will endure many more. But within its healed surface, the scars run deep.

I was just a little girl
With little stupid ideas
And where I have failed
You succeeded so well

Maybe I never will get over the fear of abandonment. Perhaps I will be forever wary of the others to follow - as though I didn't have enough walls. For someone to get through my defences, one must slip through unnoticed. Show interest and I will shut you down - flattered as I may be, I do not accept affection from strangers. This resentment will never cease to grow as long as I find myself fearful and wary and lonely.

I may have gotten over my love for you.
But for me to truly heal,
I must learn to unhate you too.

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