Monday, February 8, 2016

hello... it's me

I started a post intending to return to my familiar space of telling stories through the internet before the world struck 12, but aside from its title, the post stayed blank. Another year has come and gone and I still feel the same, despite everything I've had to go through this past year, who I am remained. No more resolutions because I found that there is no better time to start than right now.

Here's to a brand new start, every second of every day. Happy Chinese New Year!

Sunday, February 7, 2016


I made my way into the house, sliding the gates and unlocking the door. It was unnaturally quiet, despite the mess of cars parked outside so I walked slowly, cautiously. I took the stairs and found myself in a room filled with bodies, sobering up from the night before but still otherwise intoxicated.

Where's he, I heard myself ask. They looked at me like mindless zombies, trying to figure out who I am or perhaps knowing and giving me nothing but their poker faces. Where is he. I asked again with more urgency as I picked my way through them. Searching for one face in a sea of men. Dread crept into my heart as I did a circuit of the room. If he's not here...

My steps took me straight out that door and into the room directly opposite. The feeling of despair felt overwhelming and in an instant, it left me. The moment my eyes fell upon the girl in bed and his sweet face, frozen in shock. A deer caught in headlights. Bless him, he even tried to shield her but it was too late.

The saying 'flew into a rage' meant nothing to me until that instant. I was on her, pounding her with all the senseless fury trepidation left behind. I did everything I knew how to inflict pain. At first she fought back or tried to, but then she gave up and let me at her because she has won and I am the sore loser that is trying to strangle shame away. Even in that moment, I was comparing myself to her. She's in control, recognizes a lost battle, remained passive even though she should be the one engulfed with flames of a scarlet letter. Despite being the one fully clothed, I had never felt more self conscious of my own body, no wonder he picked her over me. I glanced up at the bed and realized we were alone. He'd rather abandon her to my wrath than to face me. I gave another glancing blow to her stomach, wishing I could ruin her before turning out of the room.

There were no tears, only self loathing and a heavy heart. Is this really happening? Did I ever made him happy? Why? Where did they meet? When did it start? How long has it been going on? That evil bitch. But in truth, she was nobody to me. Why should she take my feelings into consideration when the one who supposedly loved me spared me no thought? Yet in spite of everything, I still wanted him.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Review: Raw Juicery (Vivacity, Kuching)

It was a pleasure to meet Ilnara and her husband, Ghaniy of Raw Kitchen (Green Heights Mall) and Raw Juicery (Vivacity). They have been operating well over a year now and you can also find their juices at Everrise (4th Mile), Mady Organics, Tun Jugah food court, The Ranee Hotel, The Garden Pharmacy, Poppies (The Spring), Plaza Merdeka, The Granary and Level Up but they are such sincere and helpful people it's a shame not to have a nice chat with them.
Each bottle is RM12, and if you return the empty jars, you'll get a RM0.50 rebate. While it's not much, I applaud every effort of preserving mother earth ;) They have a vast array of juices to choose from but they can also customize them based on what you hope to achieve. I want to have healthy skin and Adam wants to lose weight so they introduced us to LuckNow and Banna-Banni.

I loved Luck Now because citrus made it extra refreshing, but what really stood out was the subtle notes of cinnamon and turmeric with just a hint of ginger. Banna-Banni is just as revitalizing, but expect a kick of spiciness after downing that drink as they've added cayenne pepper to boost metabolism and to act as a natural fat burner.

When we arrived though, we were given a shots of juice and honestly, the ingredients they chose complement each other beautifully. All the flavors of their juices blend so well together, it's like they were meant to be. Once you taste it, you will understand exactly what I mean. Juice has never tasted so delicious. Needless to say, there are no preservatives, additional sugar or any of that nasty stuff.

On top of juices, they sell certain superfoods like chia seeds, hempseed, acai powder and these food bars pictured above. I would love to see them expanding into raw food diet though. It's another health fad which tosses cooking out the window because it is believed that heat kills beneficial nutrients and enzymes. Also, since you will be cutting out processed food, I trust we would be a lot healthier for it. But it's extremely tedious to prepare, as raw food perishes quickly, just like these juices.

You can choose to purchase the prebottled ones from Raw Juicery (Vivacity), but you must keep them refrigerated and finish it within 30 minutes upon unsealing the cap. Or you can bring your own refillable glass bottles (plastic oxidizes the juice & ruins it) to Raw Kitchen (Green Heights Mall) and those can keep for 2 days (and also, replace 2 meals).

Kenny Sia - I trust he needs no introduction, being one of the pioneers in the Kuching blogging scene and also founder of Level Up - showed up with his wife for the opening ceremony.
Kenny Sia, Ghaniy, Ilnara & Mr. Allen Sim (Director of Vivacity)
Now for the compulsory selfie with the very pretty Ilnara, I mean look at that skin! HELLO.
To read what the other bloggers have to say about Raw Juicery:

Mike - Aliey - Hani - Priscilla - Faldi