Thursday, May 25, 2017

Why People Don't Like You


I'm not going to lie, I don't understand how it feels to be bullied - not because I've never been picked on or laughed at and embarrassed. But because I never let it get to me, I don't let myself become a victim. I jibe back, laugh louder or pretend like it doesn't matter and trust me. After a while, it stops being important.

This is not an article belittling bullying. I understand that it can be tough when bullies cross over from being mean and hurting your feelings to downright evil and hurting you physically. It is my own opinion that emotional bullying builds character, but it is never right.

Now, when I was in primary school, I felt ostracized at times but come middle school, I became more popular. And I don't know about Western culture and the kinds of bullies they develop, but in my private Chinese school, bullies are just looking for a little fun. I know because I was one. If someone is disliked, you can be sure they'd find bugs in their bags, poop in their pockets or their desks destroyed. I'm not proud for what I did, but I'd say they deserved it. One for being a snitch, one for being a bitch and the poop was a joke.

There's a fine line for us, between doing something out of malice and doing something out of friendship and you'd be surprise how frequent the two coincide. If you're not egged on your birthday or doused in water, you are not popular. If you haven't been thrust against a pole or pillar by a group of people, you are not cool. If you haven't gotten jelly or gum stuck on your shirt or hair, you probably don't have any friends. And this post is to tell you WHY.

You're too much. And you don't know how to stop. You not only persist, but you pester and you go on and on. Do you want to go out for lunch? Some other time? How about tomorrow? Or tonight? We can do dinner. Oh, still busy? Hmmm... And not five minutes later you're down the same guy's throat about how yall should invite so and so. Woah, slow down there you eager beaver! Everything in moderation, learn how to hold back. People might say they like sincerity and want to know the real you, but nobody's ever ready for the candidly raw. If you suspect that you're being over the top, chances are you have been for the last 10 or 15 minutes or so. People will respond at first but over time, they'll start to give you the cold shoulder.

Go doesn't flow. If you're insistent on having a stick up your ass, soon, people are going to get real sick of you. It's not that you're not allowed to have your own preferences or comfort zones... But if you don't live a little, you're just gonna be stuck in a rut and that rut is a lonely little foxhole you dug yourself. You could learn from ringleaders, whom I've noticed knows how to say what. They make you feel like you've been heard, and somehow make their idea feel like your own. How many times have I been talked into doing something incredibly stupid is embarrassing. On one hand, it's their powers of persuasion and on the other, I just went with the flow. You want me in that baby chair? Done.

Serious is your middle name. Honestly, there's nothing that says "target" to bullies more than a serious person who takes him/herself way too seriously. Life is either a tragedy or a joke so if you don't have a sense of humor, you're gonna get tired AF. Worse, if you are pompous about it and can't unglue yourself from that high horse you're judging everyone from. You might try to act above it all, but we know that you're not fooling anyone.

"Candid" doesn't equal "Offensive".  How is it possible to mistake the two? Well, most people feel like in order to be real, they have to give their most uncensored thoughts. The truth is, people are not very nice and so, neither are what we think. But it's completely possible to be honest without being a complete dick about it. So watch out, while you're busy being as honest as you can be, you're not just making enemies but you're hurting lots of feelings.

You try to make cool happen. Sorry to burst your bubble but you can't. You either are, or you're not. And mostly, people are cool when they are just doing their own thing and being themselves. You can be cool if you're completely a geek or whatever, but not if you are doing it just so it will score you points.

If it's too hard to take in, just remember this quote when you find yourself in any kind of social situation: People will forget what you say or do but people never forget the way you make them feel.

So if you're going to make them feel bad about themselves and rain on everyone's parade, who also tries way too hard, making everyone uncomfortable and awkward... Guess who's not getting invited to the next party in town?

(If you don't know the answer, clearly I've just written a piece of trash.)

Monday, May 15, 2017

Tony Roma's Set Lunches (Vivacity, Kuching)

Updated 22/5: I FOUND MY SD CARD! Pictures updated :D 

Tony Roma's has become synonymous with "expensive". Try it, bring it up with your friends and see how they react. 10/10 will agree with my first sentence. But that's not true. They now have affordable lunches starting from RM20.03, served with a drink and soup.



We started off with a Baked Potato Soup and a Chicken Vegetable Soup. The first tasted oddly like a creamy and thick mushroomy soup, with all the flavors of one. The only difference is, it's a lot more filling and congealed. I much preferred the second one which was lighter and perfect on a rainy day. A hearty soup with celery, carrot and onions.



The popiah skin gives this salad a nice proper crunch that goes superbly with fresh lettuce and other salad greens. Just as good as my first visit. At least you can be assured that when you dine at Tony Roma's, quality control is guaranteed!



Was a little disappointed with this as it looked better than it tasted and it felt like something was missing but if you like your pasta with fresh shrimp, tomatoes and basil, you can definitely give this a go! I guess I like my pasta with a more savoury kick!


It's pretty generic, it's like the very definition of a burger but nothing to scream or shout about. If you're craving for a burger and you just want one that hits the spot with nothing more and nothing less, you're looking at it!


The BBQ Quarter Chicken has an interesting blend of smokiness and tangy flavouring and it will really get your tastebuds going wow! The texture is denser than normal but it's not too dry.


The Roasted Chicken is less interesting than the one above but no less yummy. If you're looking for something which has Tony Roma's signature smokey taste but without the tang: This is it!


There's bound to be something there for everyone. As for me, I can't wait to try their strawberry walnut salad. What's your favourite thing off their menu though?

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy 2


I caught this on the premiere but it left with me so much feels, I knew I couldn't blog about it without spoiling this great movie. I had to rewatch the first one to calm myself down. And you'd know why, if you've seen it. If not then don't go past this line. Click the little X now. If you haven't seen it and you're still reading, you're stupid you little rebel.


Yondu dies.

See, you've gone and done it. Spoilt the movie for yourself. But before he died, he made "daddy" okay again and I love him so much more for it. C'mon, it was freaking obvious from the first movie that Yondu loved Starlord like his own. All those evasiveness about why he kept him in first place, their bickering and his defiance at keeping Peter alive. Peter, who has to be the thickest hero on the block. Idiot little boy.

I was completely absorbed by his daddy issues, Nebula's obvious sister issues and Groot's cuteness, there really wasn't much left for anything else. It was about the same tired old thing anyway, bad guy wants to take over the world (or maybe in this case - a universe) and the good crew has to clean it all up while going on an adventure of self discovery. But with a cute little tagalong that isn't just a pretty face!


Yes, it took me 2 weeks to get that out. The OST was just as good as the first one though.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

3 InSTARgrammers Every Girl Should Follow

Every time people talk about their favourite IGers, I never fail to mention these three people who inspire me and I hope they do the same for you too.

Plaaastic is a proud Vietnamese, known affectionately as GG. She's someone that life hasn't been kind to. I feel uncomfortable divulging her story as I'm neither friend nor family but in a nutshell, she's been through way too much than a 22 year old should have had to. But that's just me, who has only ever lived a comfortable life. I love her for her honesty, courage and eye for otherworldly aesthetic. She makes me want to wear my heart on my sleeve and platforms 10 miles high, runaway into a sea of strangers with nothing but the clothes on my back and a camera. She's not everyone's cup of tea, but she is so much more than just leaf water to me. 

My cousin Val from Big Picture Stuff introduced her to me and first I fell in love with her photography, her passion and then her words. There's magic in this young Australian mama because there must be a secret to how she captures moments so candidly and raw. I suppose art is a reflection of who you are and she's got a wild gypsy heart so it shows. Nirrimi taught me that the road can be home, unconventional can be natural, you don't have to follow rules - just your heart. She inspires me to open mine, to love freely and fiercely, but most importantly: to be kinder to myself.

When I first discovered her, all I could think was hair. I've been growing mine out for years but I keep losing sight of my goals. Looking at her pictures remind me what I love about long hair. It is so romantic and feminine. But over time, I can't help but feel like she really is a real life princess straight out of Disneyland! Always ready to put a positive spin on anything. Reading her captions make me warm inside and she really brightens up my feed. And even though she has some French in her, she never tries to pass off as Eurasian but identifies fully as Vietnamese and I love her for that. 

These girls are so much more than just another pretty face to me. I admire them for their strength, their heart and their sincerity. If you follow any girls who are an inspiration to you, I hope you share her.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

#MeetUpKch 3.0

Every day we complain that there's nothing to do in Kuching. How it's so boring here  So every year, the whole of Kuching gathers. This year's going to be on the 29th & 30th of July at Le Park Civic Center.

The funny thing about Kuchingites is that we'll whine about the lack of music scene or any kind of art but we'll turn our back on local artists at a drop of a hat. It's like we don't understand that to have a scene, we need local talent. If we don't start supporting those around us, we're never gonna build anything up. So come through to that annual battle of the bands!


Even if music is not your thing, there's gonna be a street dance competition, futsal tournaments, markets and you can check out the full list of activities here:


If you don't see something you're interested in, dial those digits. Make it happen.