Thursday, June 29, 2017

you know...

I used to blog about every negative thing that happened to me. I would rant and let it all out thinking that by doing so, I'd feel better. And I do. But every time I see the post again, all I feel is a tight shame in my chest and a reminder of how upset I was when I wrote it. So I stopped.

Why bother capturing all that anger, when the best thing is to let it go?

I realized that if you set out to do something in order to send a message to someone - it makes you petty, it makes you small. And anger, anger is stupid. It is childish. Once you learn to see from different perspectives, you'll realize it is often ill-earned. You're angry because someone did something you didn't want or like, but should someone else's actions be the reason you lost your temper? Patience is a virtue, and patience is not just about waiting minutes or hours. Patience is understanding, patience is a kindness.

And you have to understand, the thing is your word cannot change anyone who doesn't want to.

I've been re-reading Animorphs and a quote jumped out at me: a fool is strong so that others will see, a wise person is strong for himself (book #23).

It hit me quite hard because just the day before, I was telling my friend about how I tried so hard to pretend like I wasn't afraid of heights just because I wanted to look brave. So I stood on a glass balcony at the roof of a hotel to prove I was unafraid. The truth is, partially, I believed that fear is nothing but a limitation on ourselves. I should have wanted to overcome it because of that, and only that, rather than showing off.

We do that a lot, don't we? Especially in the age of social media and connectivity. We post about our adventures, our conquests and materialism. Who are we trying to convince? But that's a story for another day.

Today it's about peace and love. If you can't love others, at least, love yourself.


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